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Bring your styles together without ruining your marriage before it begins By Michael Watkins Bryant and Patrice (Jones) Ott are big listmakers at home and at work. It was second nature for the ultra-organized newlyweds to work methodically and efficiently when they combined their households last summer. Bryant moved in the week before the wedding, but the couple moved their furniture and personal items at the same time. “We started talking about and planning what we were going to keep and get rid of months before moving,” Patrice said. “That made it easy for us to decide what items we needed to buy.” Since both were living in furnished homes owned by friends, the couple had only bedroom furniture and other odds and ends to bring to their new home. They decided to keep Bryant’s bedroom furniture for the guest bedroom/office. That left the living room, dining room and master bedroom needing basic pieces. The Otts — both savers and budgeters — headed to Nebraska Furniture Mart with a budget that wouldn’t affect their savings or compromise their monthly income. Bryant is an editor at Gallup Inc. Patrice is a first-year law student at Creighton University, where the couple met six years ago. They compared prices and merchandise at other furniture stores before deciding to purchase from the Mart during the Berkshire Hathaway shareholders sale last spring. “We spent days sizing up what we could afford. We discussed color, size, everything,” Bryant said. “Since this was for an apartment and not a house, we bought to fit the space. Once we get our first house, we’ll invest more in how we furnish it.” Combining possessions was more complicated for Angela and Shawn Roeber of Fremont, Neb., who were married in November 2006. Both had lived in apartments with roommates for several years and had accumulated a hodgepodge of furniture and household items. When Shawn moved into Angela’s apartment, it was already fully furnished, so they had some decisions to make. Compromising on what they would keep and what they would give away, Shawn left most of his apartment furniture behind for his roommate. He brought his bedroom set for the spare bedroom, a pair of dressers and two televisions, one of which ended up in their living room. “Shawn’s TV was bigger than mine, so we decided to put it in the living room. My TV went into the master bedroom,” said Angela. That, however, created a problem. His entertainment center didn’t match the rest of the living room décor. But it will do for now. “We figure once we buy a house, we’ll decorate with the pieces that we can decide on together,” Angela said. Whether combining existing furniture or buying new items, both the Otts and Roebers recommend listening to each other. “Start talking earlier about these things so it doesn’t come up when it’s almost too late,” Patrice said. “If you’re bringing something to the new place that you’re attached to, let it be known early so there aren’t any hurt feelings,” she added. “As it is with every part of a relationship, open communication is the key.” The art of compromise Relationship experts and designers agree that the answer to conflicting tastes may be in keeping separate rooms for each one to display, say, framed Red Hot Chili Peppers posters or Precious Moments figurines. But for the living room and other common areas, compromise is key. Sandra Troup, a furnishing consultant for IKEA in Burbank, Calif., says many couples can benefit from professional decorating advice, whether it’s free of charge through a store, or at an hourly rate. “Bottom line: It keeps a lot of arguments from starting because it’s like having a referee.” Don’t expect that everything from two households will work together — or even fit — in the new common space. Some pieces can be stored, while others should go to charity or the trash bin. These tips are from “The Nest Newlywed Handbook: An Owner’s Manual for Modern Married Life,” by Carley Roney.
What kind of couple are you? OK, so you’ve signed the lease and dumped your boxes of belongings into the apartment, along with his broad-shouldered leather lounger and your tufted floral wingback chair. Now, how do you overcome that jumbled, thrown-together phase of decorating? “The Nest Newlywed Handbook” offers this quiz aimed at “finding your couple style.”
If most of your responses were ... A — You’re “classic.” You’re the couple who shops at stores like Crate & Barrel for contemporary, clean lines. Your dream home has gorgeous texture and rich woods, yet a comfortable feel. B — You’re “trendy.” Trendy when it comes to home design is best defined as midcentury modern. You should start designing your home around modern, minimalist pieces with punches of color and pattern. Don’t be afraid to raid your grandma’s attic. C — You’re “boho,” short for bohemian. You’re the couple who can take a scrappy old chair and make it into a showpiece. And a scarf can work wonders on a side table. D — You’re
“eclectic.” Your style is a little trickier to distill because
your range of likes (and dislikes) is varied. When it comes to your home,
your challenge is keeping your look cohesive. |