Grooms roll up sleeves, handle fair share of planning

By Wayne Brekke and Chris Christen

There was a time when a man’s job was to woo the girl, buy the ring, propose marriage, survive the bachelor party and make it to the church on time. The groom was more than happy to leave the wedding arrangements up to the bride and her wedding-frenzied friends and relatives. Besides, picking out flowers, invitations and china simply got in the way of watching football and playing golf. Not any more.

An evolution is under way. Grooms are becoming more involved in the wedding and reception planning process and brides couldn’t more be delighted.

Tracey Fricke, owner of Special Occasion by Design in Omaha, confirms the trend, adding that it’s helpful to have both parties immersed in the planning.

“It’s nice because you have well-rounded opinions and involvement from both of them, adding that special touch for their big day,” she said. “When I meet with couples . . . we always summarize with ‘These are the things he’ll work on and these are the things she’s working on.’”

Many couples plan together out of necessity. Busy schedules make it impossible for one person to coordinate all the arrangements. Another factor: More couples are paying for part or all of their wedding.

Richard Marunda and his bride, the former Heather Treat, hit the ground running as soon as they decided to get married. “Richard has been there every step of the way,” Treat said. The couple, who were married Dec. 1, 2007, in Omaha, shopped for centerpieces, found bridesmaid dresses on clearance at Sears and purchased a backup wedding dress for $7 at Marshall’s. (In the end, the bride wore a gown from Sposa.)

“I realized early on that I needed to take an active role because I wasn’t just planning for a wedding,” Marunda said. “I was planning for our marriage,” a point emphasized by the couple’s pastor during premarriage counseling. “Heather and I have very different work schedules,” said Marunda. “It was unrealistic for me to place all wedding planning and coordination duties on her.”

Treat, a nurse, works odd shifts. “While she was resting, I took it upon myself to go scouting for party favors, centerpieces, family gifts, the unity candle holder,” the groom said. “I wasn’t doing it for myself. I was doing it for her, so she wouldn’t have to worry about it.”

The couple, who dated long-distance for most of four years, said they knew each other’s tastes and trusted each other’s decisions when it came to purchases.

“I am the luckiest bride to have such a wonderful man,” Treat said.

Rachel Ogden can relate. “My fiance has been extremely involved in all of the planning for our wedding,” said Ogden, who will marry Joe Pfeifer in Omaha on Aug. 23, 2008. “Joe has helped with everything, with the exception of picking out the wedding dress, which I had to insist he not help with,” she said.

Pfeifer was a partner in looking at churches and reception halls, and interviewing photographers. He even helped pick out the bridesmaids’ dresses. And put himself in charge of wedding day transportation and honeymoon arrangements.

“I anticipate he’ll remain very involved,” Ogden said.

Robert Blum designed the invitation and program for his Aug. 18, 2007, wedding to Crystal Harmon. “Robert wanted the invitation to be unique to our style and personality,” the bride said.

At her request, Blum created a large painting for guests to sign at their reception. Filled with good wishes for the couple, the painting hangs in their home.

Mike Kronschnabel found a lasting plus in helping his bride. “I think it was good for our relationship. Our decision-making styles are very different . . . Although we had some differences of opinion, there were no arguments. Planning the wedding really set the stage for how we approach all of our planning as a couple.”